Haute Couture is Dead

 

by Alex George

I hear the death bells ringing. This accusation has been leveled before, but never in my 15 years of reviewing Haute Couture have I seen such self-indulgent, tiresome, unimaginative fashion as we have seen with this latest unleashing for the Spring/Summer 2006 lines just this past week in France.

We see the great blaze that is the funeral pyre of Haute Couture; from Lagerfeld’s cloistered insistence on the relevance of Coco Chanel to the contemporary cultural landscape to Galliano’s ridiculous attempt to overtly politicize his fashion collection with anti-creative swaths of red and little skeleton janglies. Not to mention his own outfit, I mean I like Pirates of the Caribbean too but come on Peter Pan let’s bring it back to earth. If I wanted my fashion to be a cliché I’d have Steven Speilberg design a dress for me.

[Valerie] Hash(ing) it Out

This usually anal retentive designer finally let it all go and made a big fashion bomb. Mx. Hash did have one great piece, but I’m not going to tell you which one it was. Instead I’m going to show you what I like to call ‘The Tumor’ and another ‘Hash on Acid’. These two pieces deliver with distasteful ease, the hangman’s rope. This is not ‘high fashion’ but rather a highly personal emotional and psychological embolism played out on a runway.

Armani – A Name Without Talent

For being one of the most prominent names in fashion (even my redneck brother-in-law knows the Armani name) Armani consistently under-performs at these high-fashion events. He’s good at ready to wear, but when it comes to artistry he’s stifled. Witness this dress straight out of Zena: Princess Warrior; I mean come on, would that really excite the imagination of an adult?

Lacroix Goes Giddy for The Kitsch and Kiddy

Lacroix likes to dress his women like a fantastic mix between Peter Pan, Alice In Wonderland and A Mid-Summer Nights Dream. If you’re looking for a lighthearted dress that oozes childhood sentimentality then Lacroix is your man. I like this dress the best, it so reminds me of Alice – are you ready for the rabbit hole?

The Spring Couture Lacks a Depth of Artistic Themes

My major disappointment with the Spring/Summer 2006 Couture is its lack of artistry. For me, the couture collections are a time to shine a little radical light into the bowels of the fashion beast. To come up with new expressions on a Shakespearean level. I want to tremble with excitement and joy and fear when I see the new collections come out, not see a bunch of fashion designers overtly flaunting their personal stories on the runway. For me, each piece should be like a new painting or a live rock show. I want fashion that is powerful.

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